January 2012
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Every waking moment feels like wasted time. I want to not feel like you’re the last guy on the planet. I’m young and there’s more life out there. But at this moment, this is what it feels like.
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I cannot imagine not waking up in Auckland. Yes. That’s how bad I want to stay here.
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Time bomb.
I need to detach myself to people around me. I’m not good with good byes so this is going to suck. I have 12 days and I don’t know how to handle it. I wanna stay but it’s like I’m a timed bomb that no one can stop. I need to go back, go home and get a life. I have one here but even if this fits.. It’s not right isn’t it?
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I don’t know how to put into words how did this day go. But after today, I seriously don’t wanna leave Auckland.
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I srsly don’t know how I’m gonna feel when One Tree Hill ends. I’ve been watching it since I was in high school. Even when Peyton and Lucas left. Even when people stopped watching it. I just.
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Anonymous asked: what if he comes back?
Anonymous asked: can you tell me something about your one that got away?
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I don't wanna leave.
But fate has spoken. Life goes on. The question is. Do I go on? :)
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Okay. I’m being random here. but I can’t stop being emotional over the song “The One that Got Away” by Katy Perry. I’ve always loved it. before the acoustic version, and before she released it. There’s a line that hits me every time. No matter how many times I hear it. It was when everyone was fangirling about California girls. I just. Why is this my life. I...
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Honestly.
I’m not good with asking. Or hoping or wishing or praying for something. Usually when I ask something I know it’s not gonna happen. It’s like I’m already rejecting myself before someone else does.
I’m losing faith. again. That feeling, it’s so hard to want something to work out. It’s so hard to pray for something when you feel like you hit rock bottom...
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Nothing.
So. I like you. Not cause I think you’re cute but because you’re all kinds of things. You like sports, you sing and for some reasons. you actually listen to me. Not the kind of listen that you just say you understand but you actually don’t but the kind that you actually get where I’m coming from. you actually get what I was trying to say.
And the thing is. I feel like...
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Holy crap. I slept thinking about you and the way your arms felt when you hugged me. And I woke up doing the same thing.
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